Hollister Brewing Company
What’s on tap? Actually there are about 15 beers that HBC pours and they are probably all good (haven’t had them all). Then there are the fries, served in duck fat they are unique and tasty. After that it’s all downhill. If you want a burger go to Chili’s next door. It’s across from the Home Depot, but don’t get their slogans confused with HBC. ‘More Doing’ doesn’t translate to ‘More Dining’, ‘Let’s Do This’ should be ‘Let’s Not Do This’ for HBC, and ‘You Can Do It, We Can Help’ at HD translates to ‘You Can Eat It, We Can Hope’ at the Hollister Brewing Company. Actually, on second thought just skip the place altogether and go to Chili’s for the beer too.
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999 Andante Rd
Although 999 Andante Rd. cannot be considered a ‘bar’, ‘blue highway’ or ‘backroad’, it certainly holds a few memories as it was the house next door to the parents of my friend Hugh. A good memory was a 4th of July, before the house was built. Hugh had traveled through Scotland and England and a couple he had met were visiting the U.S. and would be staying in Santa Barbara a couple days. Perfect timing — Hugh’s parents were away. These were still the days of digging large pits along Leadbetter Beach and settling in to watch the fireworks show. The bad memory came years later. While this ‘Whalehouse’, a name it is known by, was being built, Hugh’s parents house was broken into. That’s a story for another post as it most definitely involves the España restaurant and pitchers of margaritas.
While I’m not a believer in spiritual meanings, the number 999 does apparently hold some significance. It is associated with ‘the loss of personal belongings’, no, I’m joking, it signifies ‘completion’ and ‘a point of closure’. Yes, I Google’d it and sure enough there’s even a website that explains what to do when you see the number 999. Remember it’s also a mirrored image of the number 666. I’m not sure how street addresses are assigned or selected. Andante Road is a perfect example that shows there is no apparent logic, however on almost every other street, they go in numerical order. If not, think of the poor postman and we don’t want to add on any more stress. Thankfully Andante Road is a short one. It’s private too, so maybe that offers some leeway, but the two addresses at the beginning are 999 and 980. The last house on this short journey is 950. So you’re now thinking… “well I’m no rocket scientist, but I’d say the addresses go from high to low.” No Sherman, wrong you are. Before reaching 950 we drive by 930. Sorry, Mr. Postman, ask the city for an explanation, and also ask why 999 was able to be constructed so close, or possibly over part of Mission Canyon Creek? I think some permits were issued in 1980 for this house that are questionable. But now it all makes sense… 999 … it’s done, completed … closure, especially the building permits book.
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Roy
Let me just say it up front “Not my style.” While it does serve food late night, and if they haven’t run out by the time you need a feed, the steaks are good. They are, after all, Harris Ranch Beef. Roy is a dimly lit quiet little spot off State on Carrillo St., but too quiet for my liking. I feel like I have to be on my best behavior, so as not to disturb those eating. But I do like the glow from the Jolly Tiger sign.
Sportsman
The Sportsman or often referred to as “Sporty’s” is one of the few establishments that have lasted a long time in SB. Established in 1984, although it seems longer. It’s a friendly dive with a good jukebox, and although I was never 86’d, I know someone who can make that claim to fame. The only oddity I saw in many visits was the way one bartender made a Bloody Mary. I’ve had some tasty ones over time, although I’d never ordered one from her, and thank God I hadn’t ordered this one. There are numerous recipes and most have an ingredient or two added so that it can be named accordingly; Cajun Bloody Mary, Bite Your Mama Bloody Mary, etc., but most keep the Worcestershire sauce at a dash or two. The Algonquin Bloody Mary (possibly named after the Algonquin River in Illinois) calls out for 1 1/2 tsp Worcestershire. Maybe that river runs brown and the amount of Worcestershire added matches closely in color. This drink ran quite brown as she completely disregarded the idea of a ‘dash’, bypassed the ‘tsp’ and just poured in the Worcestershire from the bottle. I’ve found a Wasabi Bloody Mary recipe that calls out for 3 tablespoons of Worcestershire — I think she had even passed that amount. I didn’t get to see who ordered this and missed out seeing the reaction to how it tasted. My recommendation — get your Bloody Mary’s from the Mesa Cafe or if in the valley – they make ’em great at Maverick’s Saloon.
Boathouse
The Boathouse at Hendry’s Beach may be a pleasant stop for a dinner by the sea, but as far as a bar of choice it ranks pretty low on my list. It’s way too small, but like the green curb, it’s role is to be a temporary spot for a customer, you’re not supposed to park there long. The Boathouse was renovated from the previous Brown Pelican restaurant which occupied the spot for over 20 years. It had a worse layout as far as the location of the bar, but after a few months of interior renovations, I would have thought the BH could have come up with something better. Yes, it is both an indoor and outdoor bar, but no, overall it could be much better. At least BIGGER!
That said, we were sitting at the bar early one Sunday morning. We felt like the curb was white as we were planning on sitting awhile. Two husky ladies to our right were apparently along the green and were just stopping in for a drink and eat before heading to Zodo’s to watch their Pittsburg Steelers. These ladies were three rivers tough. I won’t get into details but when my buddy Chris made the ultimate mistake of ordering a Bloody Mary, but ‘not real spicy’, or something to that affect, these ladies (verbally) laid into him. I found it hilarious as they referred to him as the ‘stressed out skinny fella’. They knew their football as well and didn’t hesitate putting the bartender in his place for an incorrect football fact he made the mistake of saying. True representatives of the ‘Steeler Nation’, it would have been fun to watch the game with these two. Chris however would need the rest of the day (and a different bar) to heal from the verbal abuse these ‘iron curtain’ ladies gave him. They were spot on — he was too stressed.
Dutch Garden Restaurant
The German kings and emperors dominated the Netherlands in the 10th and 11th century, so I guess that it shouldn’t be a surprise to learn that the Dutch Gardens Restaurant is more German than Dutch. After all it was King Henry of Germany that liberated the area from Viking rule around 920AD.
There are Dutch Gardens across the globe, the definition or description given to a particular type of rectangular garden space often enclosed within hedges or walls. So the name fits the outer seating area, but this little place is German on the inside, German throughout the menu and German across the spigots of available drafts to choose from. Actually, this is the reason one should slow down on State before blinking and passing the place by, the beers are German, and if you need something to eat with your drink, then I’d recommend the wurst as the best.
The Palace Grill
The Palace Grill is the higher end of the choices for New Orleans/Cajun style cuisine in Santa Barbara. My preference by far is the Cajun Kitchen(s), although the De La Vina location is preferred over the others.
The differences between the Palace Cafe and the Cajun Kitchen actually balance the scales quite well. The Cajun Kitchen opens at 6:30 am and closes at 2:30 pm, the Palace serves lunch at 11:30, dinner at 5:30 until 10:00 or 11:00 pm. The Cajun Kitchen has a long list of breakfast choices and serves Dixie beer. The Palace Grill has a long list of dinner choices and serves hard alcohol and Abita beer. Abita beer tastes a lot better than Dixie to me.
In my opinion, the Cajun Kitchen wins out in taste, hosts and hostesses, cooks and busboys and the dollar figure at the bottom of the bill. The Palace wins only in that it serves food while the Cajun Kitchen is sleeping, it has a liquor license, and if you want an authentic beer with your Jambalaya, you can order an Abita Amber or Turbo Dog.
It’s a good drive, but really there’s no substitute for a meal at Coop’s Place.
Joe’s Cafe (U.S. History 101)
Originally opened in 1928, Joe’s Cafe has been a mainstay of the Santa Barbara downtown. Closed for a while following a remodel and a move a few blocks up State Street, for the most part Joe’s hasn’t changed much over the years, with maybe it’s reputation growing stronger through the 80’s and 90’s. That reputation was that Joe’s was probably the place to go for the stiffest drinks. I’m not sure that holds true today. It’s a reputation that Joe’s itself continues to push. Not “Joe”, the original Joe Ferrario is no longer with us, and the cafe became a part of the ownership that includes Lucky’s and Ca Dario, but the cafe’s advertisements state they serve the stiffest drinks. Harry’s would be in the running as would many other bars from the breakwater out to Winchester Canyon.
I think for a bartender, having the rep as a strong server is similar to getting a merit badge for a Boy Scout. You don’t sew the little patch on your sleeve, but you are known and well respected amongst your peers and patrons.
It is rumored that when Joe’s opened in 1928, during Prohibition, that it was a Santa Barbara speakeasy (a place where illegal alcohol was sold and consumed). U.S. History 101: United States Prohibition, 1920 to 1933 banned the sale, manufacture, and transportation of alcohol for consumption. Increasingly unpopular, President Franklin Roosevelt signed into law in March, an amendment allowing for the manufacture and sale of 3.2% beer and light wines, and later that year the repeal of Prohibition. Roosevelt’s famous March 23, 1933 remark; “I think this would be a good time for a beer.” Previously unaware of his quote, I think I’ve made that same statement a thousand times over.
For those of us who complain as the clock nears 2:00 am and we wish we were in Las Vegas or New Orleans or anywhere that the phrase “last call” doesn’t exist, think of this… The Prohibition laws, (the Eighteenth Amendment and the Twenty-first Amendment), gave states the right to restrict or ban alcohol sales. Mississippi had actually made alcohol illegal in 1907 and was the last state to repeal Prohibition in 1966. Kansas did not allow sale of liquor “by the drink” (on-premises) until 1987, and there are still numerous “dry” counties and towns across the United States. So for those of us whose State Street shuffle ends at about 1:45 am, think about poor Dorothy and Toto. After all that, wouldn’t you have wanted to put the dog in the basket and ride your bike to the corner bar for a double?
Whiskey Richards
Open for about a year before finally venturing in… We tried one Monday morning, but too early and settled for the James Joyce. On this particular Sunday however, we were in luck as the morning had started with Bloody Mary’s at the Boathouse, moved to Margarita’s at El Torito and a stagger into Whiskey Richards just around the corner down State Street. This is a dive, although located in the high rent district on State, plenty of room, pool, darts, and a cheap jukebox, it has to win the Independent Best Of for the worst of crappers. Not that I judge a bar by it bathrooms, they are merely a neccesity, but these rank with the grimiest I’ve ever been in, and that includes many along Decatur Street, New Orleans. However, our bartender that afternoon into the evening was Nancy, and she should absolutlety win Best Of Bartenders. I am writing the Independent next to suggest this category if it doesn’t yet exist and to submit my nomination. Between shots of Jager and other shots and toasts of unknown mix for reasons unknown, we rediscovered Pabst Blue Ribbon.
For those who care, the blue ribbon was attached to the neck of the bottle around 1882 representing the fact that the beer had won awards over it rivals, primarily Budweiser. Today Pabst is a virtual brewery, it’s 85 brands are brewed by Miller and Lion, and the list includes many recognized to us on the left side (yes,the West Coast); Colt45, Schiltz, Stroh’s, Olympia, Old Milwaukee, Ballantine, and when you’re driving South on the 10 from El Paso, a cold Lone Star or Pearl are both a part of the Pabst family. The last Pabst brewery closed its doors in Allentown, Pennsylvannia in 2001.
Two bucks a beer, and if not the coldest beer (in a can), they are second to the coldest beer sold in a bottle, just north off Glen Annie Rd. at Roundin’ Third Sportsbar.
Dive Bar,
Two Dollar Pabst,
Nancy,
Three songs for a buck,
oh, and did I mention Nancy?!
