Russian River Flood

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Why didn’t they build the steps ALL the down to the river? That’s what I asked myself after renting the five bedroom cabin which was built alongside the Russian River. That was in June… two years later in January I learned first hand the reason why.

On the 17th the river hit 39.5 feet, the Flood Stage is 32.0 feet. At 32 feet the Old Bohemian Highway at Monte Rio (Pink Elephant) is flooded. At 33 feet a couple of the intersections in Guerneville are flooded along with the Mirabel Trailer Park in Forestville. 34 feet floods Riverside Park, Johnson’s Resort, and the Creekside Resort. Add another foot and the list now includes Parker’s Resort. 36 feet floods the lower cabins in Fern Grove…and 39 feet begins to close the Hacienda Bridge and portions of River Road. Once that happens many residents are basically cut off from travel into Santa Rosa.

I worked in Santa Rosa along with another “river rat”. We’d monitor the flood reports to see if there was a need to head home early or if we could get home at all. She, (Shirley) lived in Rio Nido which was further out River Road than where I lived, but was at the same flood stage of 39 feet. Interesting how the river works; she lived back up in a canyon and I lived in a two story house on stilts at the rivers edge. However, when the river hit 39 feet, we both were stuck. Those who live or have lived in the area may be thinking they’ve seen worse…and rightly so. The river hit 48.8 feet in 1986 and has often hit flood stages of 45 feet or more. In January 1995 the river hit 48 feet only to recede and hit another high in March at 41.5 ft. But at 39.5 it had it’s exciting moments.

For the few of us who lived year long out in Summer Home Park, canoes had been left for us to use in order to get out to River Road. There was a fire road that traversed some of the canyons and acreage owned by Summer Home Park, but you had to have a four-wheel drive, some luck, and a pair of mudders. Walk along Summerhome Park Road as far as you could, grab a canoe to get across the flooded section, along Old River Road and you’re at River Road just before the Hacienda Bridge. The sound of the river rushing below the house is almost as incredible as the image of it during the day. From my living room windows I could look down at the river directly below. What was once a calm, slow move to the sea was now a torrent containing trees and assorted debris from lower cabins. I looked out once to watch a refrigerator bobbing up and down on it’s way to Bodega Bay. I even saw a kayaker, but can’t recall if he was ahead of or behind the refrigerator. Not that he was after it by any means, nor would he have been able to enjoy a cold beverage from it in the unlikely event that he could catch up with it.

 

Summer Home Park, Forestville

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The ad mentioned a cabin for rent in Summer Home Park. Not yet familiar with the Russian River area, my first impression was a trailer park filled with giant silver beer cans… and apparently at least one cabin. How wrong – Summer Home Park, founded in 1908, stretches along the Russian River and includes a summer only lodge, outdoor movie theater, and private beach accessible by a temporary bridge and dock. The cabins (1-7 bedrooms) are built alongside the river although the “park” includes a few canyon roads where there is no river view, but safe from the river’s flooding. This rental consisted of a two story cabin, two balconies, five bedrooms, across from the beach on stilts along the river’s edge. During the winter the park is virtually empty, most of these cabins are second homes and some owners have not returned for years. In the two years I lived there, my neighbor to my right came only once for two weeks one summer. The neighbor to my left never once came, although an Osprey visited their balcony on occasion.

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Here’s a photo circa 1950’s[?] that shows the beach area located a little further up river from the lodge. I’ve circled the cabin where I lived for a couple years. All in all there has been little change, at least for this section of the river and Summer Home Park.

 

Update: The house is for sale. The asking price is $349,000 dollars — up a bit from the price of these homes/cabins when I lived there. Of course this has a river view and with some work the 3 additional bedrooms add to the potential ‘resort rental’ income through the spring and summer months. Too cold downstairs to legitimately advertise it as a 5 bedroom home (year round). At any rate it was a great couple years living above the river. No one around after Labor Day except the squirrels.

 

The Brass Ass

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The Ass-to-Ass Run

Back then the Brass Ass translated to fun. Actually, it was the Brass Asses, a pair of pizza places located in Cotati (near what is now Oliver’s Market) and Santa Rosa (in the Montgomery Village shopping center) way back in the ’70s and early ’80s.

Some are still praying for a Brass Ass resurrection, almost 20 years after the last Ass shut its doors. The Ass is missed for several reasons, who didn’t enjoy saying “Brass Ass.” And two, the pizza.

But best of all was the Ass-to-Ass race, an annual marathon that began at the Cotati Ass, stretched over to the Santa Rosa Ass, and back again. (that’s one big ass). An immensely popular event, it reveled in the sheer weird-ass outlandishness of its own name. Those lacking in motivation were permitted to participate in a shortened version of the run called the Half-Ass, in which runners stopped for beer and pizza in Santa Rosa and never bothered to run back to the starting line. It was a time when folks were never more proud of their Asses.

Pink Elephant

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The Russian River resort town of Monte Rio is the only place I know of where seeing a Pink Elephant doesn’t necessarily mean you’re drunk. Of course, considering that the Pink Elephant is one of the North Bay’s preeminent dive bars, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sober, either.

Monte Rio is a depressed Northern California town of 900 where the forest is so thick that some streetlights stay on all day long. In the 1930’s it was a small but popular tourist spot, one Monte Rio hotel is listed in Ripley’s Believe It or Not, as each floor was a ground level floor, but the hotel had seven floors. The Pink Elephant was built sometime around 1937, today it’s the town’s only landmark, although do a Google Search for the Bohemian Grove and you’ll find that just up the forest from this bar is the meeting place for a private society (The Bohemian Club) consisting of some of the most powerful men in the world ….but that’s a different story altogether, …back at the bar…

The appeal of “the Pink” extends to a suprisingly large line of Pink Elephant merchandise (thongs and tote bags, no joke) and even a slogan: “All roads lead to the Pink.” This is hilarious, because this bar is literally a semicircular corrugated-metal inverted halfpipe smack in the middle of “Heroin Hill” – the part of Monte Rio on the other side of the river. The locals are missing teeth and the bartenders are rough around the edges, but the drinks are stiff and the camp appeal is magnetic. The bathrooms are two wooden outhouses, inside the bar. During one storm the back storage room broke off and fell into the creek, creating a brief moment of sobriety for patrons inside. The decor; a painting of a scantily clad, large breasted bartender that is behind the stage, and a similarily adorned woman dancing with a bear in front, and one of an elephant chasing a man with a beer through the jungle are from the forties and were made as donations in exchange for a large bar tab which couldn’t be paid. As small as it is, it attracted some of the most famous San Francisco bands including the Grateful Dead. Not on the beaten path, unless you’re driving the river area, but if so, you can’t miss it, especially at night.

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Fort Ross

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1979: Say What?

Local law enforcement officials turn over to the FBI a printed note found next to the body of Roy William Dale, who died of an apparent suicide in a 1974 Chevy Camaro parked at a Fort Ross Road turnout. The cryptic note implicates Dale in the 1963 assassination of President Kennedy, stating that the hit had been conducted under the command of “the Big H” and alludes to a connection between the fatal 1968 shooting of Sen. Robert Kennedy and a plan to kill his brother Edward (“Two down, one to go”). Strangely, Dale’s hands and feet were tied. A hose from the car exhaust ran into the interior of the vehicle, and (even stranger) the windows were taped tight-inside and outside.

Yep, suicide. Very similar to Texas Law Enforcement officials who determined that the man laying in the field, shot five times in the chest by a single action .22 calibur rifle found near the body, was indeed a suicide. If you’ve ever fired a single action .22 calibur rifle, as I did often as a youngster hunting in Oklahoma, you know that you must draw back the bolt, insert the bullett (one only), close the bolt, but seeing how you are intending to shoot yourself…you must position the barrel against your chest and somehow reach the trigger located way down at the other end of the rifle. The rifle is over 43 inches long and the trigger would be nearly a 36 inch reach. The impact would certainly knock you down, but in the case of this particular man, he gets up, picks up the fallen rifle, and repeats the process four more times until he has successfully shot himself dead.

Texas State Trooper: “Yep, suicide. Case closed, let’s go get us some lunch Buford.”

Russian River Resort

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The photo is of the pool at the Russian River Resort, 1954. I think a lot has changed since then, although there is still a pool, the guests today are predominately gay and lesbian. Unaware of any of this and in need of a room for the night, the triple R looked as good a place as any. The sign on the office window directed us to the bar, and our heads still cloudy from the night before, we noticed nothing that would indicate the triple A probably didn’t list the triple R in their guide for places to stay.

We were shown to our cabin, a walk from the bar along the pool. Looking back on it now I’m glad it was winter and the pool was empty of um, frolickers. The image of one guy sitting atop another guys shoulder tossing a beach ball was not one I want to have. At any rate, there we were, cabin #3, just relax for a moment, read the brochure and see what there is to do in Guerneville. WHAT THE HELL? – didn’t even finish reading the first paragraph of the brochure! Tossed-it over to my friend along with the keys to the car where our bags were still. “You go get them.”, “No, you.”, “No, you.” Shit, we’ll both go…don’t look up, don’t make eye contact. Just walk out, along the pool, past the bar, past the office, out the gate and to the car. With Buck Jr. holding his bag behind him pleading “protect me bum, mate”, something in black leather passed us but I only saw the leather pants and boots, my eyes focused on the ground, it was a wonder that either of us looked up to see which cabin number we were stopping at.

Actually a peaceful, restful stay. We didn’t return to the bar at the triple R, but instead headed to the bar at the Union Hotel in Occidental for drink and Italian food. I can’t recall if a condom on the pillow replaces a chocolate, and it’s a safe bet that I’ll never return, but all in all, at least that night, it was a restful stay. I give it a Three Star Triple A rating.

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Running Fence

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Expanding twenty-four and a half miles between Sonoma and Marin Counties, Running Fence was completed on September 10, 1976. The fence was an 18 feet high cable covered with over 2 million square feet of white nylon fabric which illuminated in the sunlight and seemed to absorb and reflect the sunsets.
As an art student at California State University, Sonoma, studying under William Morehouse, an offer to work on the fence as art credit was presented. The work day began early and the rewards really never were clear until many years later as I look back and realize I happened to be in the right place at the right time in order to get the opportunity to not only witness but participate in this event.

Dismantling the fence began just 14 days following it’s completion. All materials were given to the residents and landowners who allowed the fence to be constructed on their property.

Technical: Running Fence, 5.5 meters (eighteen feet) high, 40 kilometers (twenty-four and half miles) long, extending East-West near Freeway 101, north of San Francisco, on the private properties of fifty-nine ranchers, following rolling hills and dropping down to the Pacific Ocean at Bodega Bay, was completed on September 10, 1976.

The art project consisted of: forty-two months of collaborative efforts, the ranchers’ participation, eighteen public hearings, three sessions at the Superior Courts of California, the drafting of a four-hundred and fifty page Environmental Impact Report and the temporary use of hills, the sky and the Ocean.

All expenses for the temporary work of art were paid by Christo and Jeanne-Claude through the sale of studies, preparatory drawings and collages, scale models and original lithographs.

Running Fence was made of 200,000 square meters (2,222,222 square feet) of heavy woven white nylon fabric, hung from a steel cable strung between 2,050 steel poles (each: 6.4 meters / 21 feet long, 9 centimeters / 3 1/2 inches in diameter) embedded 1 meter (3 feet) into the ground, using no concrete and braced laterally with guy wires (145 kilometers (90 miles) of steel cable) and 14,000 earth anchors.

The top and bottom edges of the 2050 fabric panels were secured to the upper and lower cables by 350,000 hooks.

All parts of Running Fence’s structure were designed for complete removal and no visible evidence of Running Fence remains on the hills of Sonoma and Marin Counties.

As it had been agreed with the ranchers and with the County, State and Federal Agencies, the removal of Running Fence started fourteen days after its completion and all materials were given to the ranchers.

Running Fence crossed fourteen roads and the town of Valley Ford, leaving passage for cars, cattle and wildlife, and was designed to be viewed by following 65 kilometers (forty miles) of public roads, in Sonoma and Marin Counties.

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Washoe House

 

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The Washoe House proclaims to be “the oldest roadhouse in the state.” This could possibly be disputed, but by whom? The place has been around since 1859, so by now it’s at least earned the right not to be argued with. I came across the place just after moving up north to Petaluma to attend Sonoma State. With a pony-tail that reached the middle of my back, I headed for the bar, never knowing what might happen next, expect the worst, prepare for trouble, but survey the odds before reacting…Page three in my ‘rules of engagement’ state – never back down, but don’t be stupid either, live to fight another day…

It was mid-afternoon and there were few inside. A couple truckers, and a couple old farmers at the bar rolling dice. I sat on a barstool next to the fat one wearing a Ford cap, old t-shirt, suspenders, slight stink, and ordered myself a draft. Fat Ray, apparently tired of losing at dice to his buddy Marshall, started talking to me, possibly in an attempt to break his bad streak. From this farmer’s view, the county was growing too fast. In particular, the city of Petaluma had sprouted up on the north side of the river faster than corn in August, and Santa Rosa was getting too big for Ray to drive into. Having heard that, I envisioned Ray driving his Catepillar with the backhoe up at about 10 mph, and wasn’t yet aware of that the State had cut a path 75 feet wide, filled it with cement and named it Highway 101. Ray passed me the cup and sure as shit passed me his bad luck as well. Marshall beat me five straight throws and to show good sportsmanship I bought beers for the two, before heading home.

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Country Porn

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With no intention of “life in a dorm” on the Sonoma State campus. A room-4-rent advertisement led to an exciting introduction to Sonoma county. The room was in a house at the border where old Petaluma meets country, up Sunnyslope Road, just off D Street. Eggs for sale a couple doors down, but two blocks away, Sunnyslope Road intersected with ‘D’ Street, a tree lined street of older, beautiful homes that represented the old Petaluma. ‘D’ Street to the right headed down to Petaluma Blvd., the main street in town, or left and out to the coast crossing the Sonoma-Marin County line and to Point Reyes, Inverness, and Drake’s Beach.

Bob, who owned the house with his wife Pamela, worked for Safeway to pay the mortgage, but dedicated most of his time to music. An accomplished bass player, he also played banjo, harmonica, and seemed to easily learn most any instrument he picked up. Bob was the bass player for the band ‘Country Porn‘, a talented country band that substituted the standard country lyrics with X-Rated verses. As a blues guitarist, I jammed with Bob often and occasionally joined him playing with local musicians across Marin County. A chance to see Country Porn play was one experience that words can’t easily describe. The band would warm up with a couple country standards before introducing Nick ‘Chinga’ Chavin, and then in between his repertoire came the paradies of country favorites. Most folks sitting at a table or along the bar were caught in their unawares … ‘Truck Driving Man’ chorus wasn’t ‘another cup of coffee’ but was ‘benies and beer’, and ‘Okie from Muskogee’ changed to ‘Asshole from El Paso’. But other songs were more graphic, they were, as the name described, ‘Country Porn’. A San Fransisco poll listed them as number #202 in a poll of most favorite bands, ahead of ‘Mumblin’ Jim’ listed at #204.

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Kinky Friedman, probably a better known name than Nick Chavin, ‘Beaver’ Bob, Country Porn, or maybe even Petaluma for that matter. Possibly the next Governor of Texas, as he is in the running at the time of this writing. Kinky actually got his nickname in college from buddy Nick Chavin. ‘Kinky’, yes I know what you’re probably thinking, crossed my mind at first too. But nope, the nickname was associated to his hair – it was kinky according to Chavin. Friends since college, there was however one feud over who actually penned the lyrics to the Merle Haggard parody; ‘Asshole from El Paso’, at least each wanted credit until Haggard sued Friedman, and Chavin kept quiet. Good luck on the campaign trail…at least his platform slogan of “Why the hell not?” is more honest than most.